Huai Tian's blog

I really don't like my mum sometimes. She always blames me for everything. Wthell. I talked too loudly to her just now she said she won't talk me to me anymore. I said it's because she blackface me she said it's because I shower too late. So what if I shower at 9pm?! Not like I don't shower. She blames me when she can't sleep well. She either says it's because she's worrying about me or because I'm not sleeping yet. Come on. Stop pushing everything on me. I'll never be good enough for you, it seems. It's not entirely my fault that I'm always so rude and talk so loudly right? You're always pissed at me. You always nag at me. What's more, dad's always so annoying and you two passed down your hot temper to me, plus I learned it from you both. Why when I complain about dad you compare him to the worst dads who beat their family and gamble their fortune away and say at least he's not like that, but when you compare...

Mm. I shall write down all the weird dreams that I remember I had. This list is in chronological order based on my memory. 1. I dreamed that my parents took me to a reservoir (we went to reservoirs frequently when I was younger). There was this wooden pathway that led to the water, something like a jetty? I felt scared and I told my parents not to go too close to the water. They said it was fine and continued to walk to the end. A crocodile crept/sprung up and ate them both. I was crying my lungs out. -END- Actually, when I woke up I was crying too. Hah. 2. Before we moved to this current flat, my family lived in the 2nd floor of a shophouse in Chong Pang (the 1st floor was the goldsmith shop). There were 3 flats on the right, but nobody lived there; they were probably used to store goods. All our metal doors were the same shade of light green. I dreamed that I saw several people crowding around the door beside my house, and a person whose face was the same shade of green as the m...

I woke up this morning from the weirdest dream I've had so far. (I've dreamt of people getting murdered/eaten by crocodiles in my dreams before.) This time I got killed. In Inception, the dream ends when people die in their dream, but I became a ghost instead. Haha It took place in a school and there's this teacher with her student followers. She wants to kill all the other students. Then I hid in this room with my mum. The teacher found me and she pasted 4 pieces of paper on my face which is supposed to determine how my face will look like after death. I kindof wasn't rejecting dying because I knew it was inevitable. I forgot how I died, I think I pushed down from the window or was it a knife? It was quick and not very painful. I flew/jumped back into the room. They couldn't see me. The teacher could hear my footsteps and her students tried to catch me. They caught hold of me for a moment but I broke free. I forgot what happened after this. Then I saw my mum at...

29th April was SYF Arts Presentation. We played the set piece, 海之韵 (Rhythm of the Sea) and choice piece, 鄱阳湖渔歌. For 海之韵, I played gaohu and for 鄱阳, I played zhonghu. So now I know how to play all three hu's! Haha. I made a really obvious error during my gaohu solo part in 海之韵. When I played the second note, I moved my finger down too much, so the note was totally wrong :'( I think it might have been 1 tone higher. Oh my god. I'm sorry YJCO... My playing wasn't good to begin with... I always made this 杀鸡 sound. :( I did bring the gaohu home to practise, but it wasn't enough, I didn't practise enough. My playing was so horrible that I shut the windows, locked my door and practised in my room. My ears have always been sensitive to high-pitched and loud sounds, plus I played so horribly in a closed room. Can you imagine what torture I did to my ears? Another reason is I was busy with SL stuff, like SL camp. Although in the last week I finally cut down to killing a...

Yesterday was Po Po's birthday! So we all gathered at her house. Met my aunt downstairs, the first thing she asked was how's my studies. I shook my head. She told me to just do my best and take it easy. A bit later Ren Guang uncle joined us, and he also said the same thing. Do my best and if I fail, well there's nothing to regret about. At most you can say is you're not smart enough. But that doesn't apply to me. I'm not stupid. I just don't try hard enough. I'm not doing my best. I can't cry when I fail a test if I did not put in my best because I deserve it. I've just got to start the momentum of doing homework and studying every day and keep that momentum. I need to overcome my laziness and procrastination!! I've already repeated JC1, and I still haven't learnt my lesson. A Level is coming soon! Come on Huai Tian, I know you can do this. It's in you. But it hasn't come out yet, and you've got to make it come out. Your p...

I have been really stressed these few days because of many things going on in such a short period of time. And it's March holidays. :/ SYF. Music exchange. I hate gaohu because it's so damn high-pitched. I hate my playing because it sounds like I'm killing a chicken. >:( JC2 scholarships form. I'm gonna do morning announcements next week. :/ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh PMS. I'm forever angsty. I forget to do stuff and my mum scolds me. Actually even when she talks properly to me, I still raise my voice at her, because I'm stressed :( Sorry I don't really want to tell my mum because she works the whole day. Sigh. Thank goodness I can rant to my friends. Oh yeah, and Ms Irene Lim's stressing us further!! She wants to strike a deal: if PF and I don't get 65% for the next lecture test, she gets to keep our FLs for a week. :/ noooooooooooooooooooooooo

I missed one week of lessons during Dec holidays last year, and one week of lessons during Orientation this year. This made me lag behind in my schoolwork. Or maybe it's just me, I did not try hard enough to catch up. I didn't make good use of my holidays to catch up and study in advance when I knew that I would miss lessons. I'm such a procrastinator. I don't have the self-control and self-discipline to make myself sit down and study. I would start to play with my phone or anything on the desk. :( I really need a supervisor. Yesterday, I went to study with Snorlax. He was the one who replaced the battery in the clock in our classroom. :') Then he told me actually he studies more efficiently alone. He's just helping me to study, making me study. Sigh. Thanks a lot, really. But I'm feeling guilty that I'm dragging him down, because he really doesn't have to do this. ;( I have much to learn from him. His choir juniors, Jia Wen and Joey were also ...