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I miss you, daddy

I was watching The Return of Superman, when the naughty Donggook appa plucked Seola's hair and tickled Sian with it.



I laughed at how he's so naughty. Then I got reminded of the times my dad used to play with me. He was one naughty dad too. And sometimes I kicked him in retaliation on the bed. As time went by, my kicks got stronger but he got weaker, so I could not longer kick him with full strength anymore. I suddenly felt so sorry for kicking him so hard. I miss daddy so much. It sent a flood of tears.
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NUSBS Management Committee

Yesterday, I went to my first Tuesday meditation session held by NUS Buddhist Society. I've only joined NUSBS this semester, and I usually go for the Wednesday sessions only, but this week I was swamped with stressful thoughts so I thought it would be good for me to finally go, since I wanted to go anyway.

Guess what. After the 1 hour mindfulness session, they suddenly asked me to join the exco. Lmao. Now I'm in NUSPE exco, nuSTUDIOS subcomm and NUSBS management committee all at once. Lolol.

Honestly, what pulls me through school is the thought of attending CCAs after school. I can't understand those people who have no CCAs at all. I guess they really like studying.

Lol, but they didn't have any positions for me. They were just asking "what can you do? How about publicity/welfare?" haha. They're mostly Year 1s but I'm still glad I got to know them. Hopefully we can get closer in this semester. I've always wanted to join a bonded exco.

Update: I…
Ah Cao, my nephew, has been working in SG, and tonight he came over to have dinner together with us.

While we were walking back home from the coffee shop, I suddenly missed Daddy a lot.

My mum sometimes asks me if I miss ah ma or daddy. Usually I don't really feel particularly sad or anything. Perhaps numb. Idk.

Sometimes it just gets me at random moments.

I miss you a lot daddy.

And I can't imagine what I'm going to feel when one day Mummy leaves too. Then I thought of how my ah ma has passed away recently too. My mum has also lost one of her parents recently.

I should treat my mum better.

One of the Things I Hate The Most

Today morning, Mummy flew to Penang to for my Ah Ma's wake, so my Er Gu Zhang is staying at my house while she's away, to ensure Daddy won't starve or fall down. Bcos I go to school until quite late.

Oh yeah, lemme digress a bit first. I had my LSM3211 CA1 today, and although I didn't finish studying, I felt that it was so much better than last sem. What's different is that I tried harder to study this time, and yesterday night, I managed to stop myself from watching the latest episodes of 2D1N and 稍息立正我爱你! I know the proper thing to do is to finish studying, but I really did improve from last sem. For that, I need to praise myself, encourage myself, pat myself, because I learned that scolding myself is just going to discourage me. I have been a bad student since secondary school, and I think I've improved the most in this period of time. I am a perfectionist. I am not praising myself, because that's not a good thing. My brain used to turn off every time th…

Earthlings 地球上的生灵 documentary review

Today, Director Lim/ 林老师 (who is a vegetarian) shared a video in the Fb group 'Living vs Acting'. It was about two 17-year-old Chinese girls who turned vegan at 14, and have started their own non-profit organisation where they make vegan cookies, and donate the revenue to save animals. All of these started when they watched the 2005 documentary Earthlings 地球上的生灵.
I knew I had to watch it. FYI, I love eating meat. But slowly, I am cutting down. I first became vegetarian during 初一十五, the 1st and 15th days of each lunar month, because these were especially sacred(?) days for Buddhists. Now, I have been eating vegan on 初一十五 and vegetarian on every Monday for a while now. I know that one day, I will eventually become vegetarian. (Sorry, I find being vegan quite hard to maintain, because so many things contain milk, but I will progress towards it.) I started doing Meatless Mondays because my close friend Pengfei had been going vegan for a few months. That encouraged me to do it, albe…

Whoever reads this, don't judge. Because I'm just writing this while being emo. But nobody visits my blog anyway. That's why there's no need to privatise this blog.

I discovered 2 tubs of Häagen-Dazs in the freezer today. I couldn't believe how such an expensive brand of ice cream appeared in my house. I was shocked. I felt so touched, and I actually couldn't bear to even start eating it, which never happens for regular ice cream like Walls.


And just now, Mum just came home, and I asked her when she bought it. She went, "Oh, right. I bought that for daddy because he's too skinny." I felt damn disappointed, you can't even imagine how someone would feel over merely ice cream. I asked her why she didn't buy Häagen-Dazs for me. Then she said something like: Buy for you? It's Mothers' Day, and you didn't even buy for me. I felt damn wronged I started crying. I know I cry over little things. SO WHAT. I usually just eat cheap ice cream, and I could even feel touched over seeing Häagen-Dazs in my house. I was never willing to splurge over my favourite dessert, and I always just buy cheap alternatives. I had to go…

Sung Jae and Joy Bbyu Couple

I've just finished watching the last episode of Bbyu Couple. And I am damn sad now. I think I'm crying more than Joy. I love this couple sooo so much. I feel so heartbroken for them, especially when Joy cried. Their love felt really real. But it's so sad because once their virtual marriage ends, they can't meet as much anymore. They're idols, and they can't hang out together in public, even if they wanted to. And that's why I feel so bad. I truly believe they really felt love for each other. Just look at how Joy broke down and cried in his arms when he was singing 안아줘 (Hug Me). They were just starting to really feel comfortable with each other, open up more, and understand each other more. And it all suddenly ends. Wtf production crew?!  What's wrong with y'all? This couple is the bomb, man. I think they contributed to lots of viewership.

I started watching this couple because I was over at Shermaine's house to study, and she cooked soba noodles…