birthday

Ummmmm so my friend forgot my birthday, and wished me 2 days later.

Was I expecting too much?

I can't really remember but I think after JC, we stopped giving each other birthday gifts? Maybe because we met each other less. But if friends gave me a present, I would obviously reciprocate. Before, at least she would facetime me to wish me a happy birthday.

When it was her birthday last year, I wished her happy birthday, but didn't prepare anything. But she happened to be nearby and invited me over, and then I bought her a cake although she said she didn't need one.

So I was kind of expecting something on my birthday, especially since she moved to somewhere nearby.

I don't expect people to remember my birthday. I myself am terrible at remembering birthdays. Unless your birthday is on a holiday or special occasion, I have to check Facebook. But at least have an idea of which month people's birthdays are in. And I even put my birthday on Facebook. Fb even reminds you of your friends' birthdays. Honestly, I only posted on Instagram stories at night on that day to remind her specifically that it was my birthday lol. I didn't want to have to tell people it's my birthday. It's pathetic. But now I feel sad and pathetic.

My expectations just dropped and dropped throughout the day. People were wishing me a happy bday on Fb and IG. I was wondering if I would get a little something? I saw on her IG that she was hanging out with her friends. Ah ok maybe she was busy. But then most of the day was over... Then I was waiting for her to wish me a happy birthday. Ok. She probably forgot.

I bought myself the nice expensive strawberry cake from Chateraise, and had it with my mum after dinner. K let me post my birthday cake on social media to remind her.

Past midnight. Ugh. She missed it. Then she sent me a message at 1+am saying, "your birthday is today meh?"

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Is it so hard to wish me a happy birthday? Wth. Isn't the normal response to wish me a happy birthday first? It was already past midnight. Would I not know my own birthday? Ok fine maybe she thought I celebrated on a diff day. So I held it in and replied her.

I then realised it was my Chinese birthday the following day from my birthday. I thought hey if she wished me today it'd be okay too. It's still my birthday.

But there was no response for another day. And she uses IG a lot. The notification was right there, and she didn't even bother to check it after she was aware of the possibility that my birthday was that day. She did apologise for being late, but when she said "chey", "well now i'm really belated lor i guess", I'm not sure how I should have felt?????

Y'know sometimes when you read texts in a different tone, it comes out differently, but I can't hear it any other way except that she didn't really care. That "lor". If people said "sorry LOR", they don't really mean it. My heart just dropped with every sentence

It's been more than a week since my birthday but I'm still sad over it.

Do I need new friends? Damn sad at 27 and nobody gives a shit except my mum and myself.

I like to be alone most of the time but not like this, come on...

Ugh. I didn't even cry that day why now