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29th April was SYF Arts Presentation. We played the set piece, 海之韵 (Rhythm of the Sea) and choice piece, 鄱阳湖渔歌. For 海之韵, I played gaohu and for 鄱阳, I played zhonghu. So now I know how to play all three hu's! Haha.

I made a really obvious error during my gaohu solo part in 海之韵. When I played the second note, I moved my finger down too much, so the note was totally wrong :'( I think it might have been 1 tone higher. Oh my god. I'm sorry YJCO... My playing wasn't good to begin with... I always made this 杀鸡 sound. :( I did bring the gaohu home to practise, but it wasn't enough, I didn't practise enough. My playing was so horrible that I shut the windows, locked my door and practised in my room. My ears have always been sensitive to high-pitched and loud sounds, plus I played so horribly in a closed room. Can you imagine what torture I did to my ears? Another reason is I was busy with SL stuff, like SL camp. Although in the last week I finally cut down to killing at most one chicken, I didn't play steadily in the end.

The results were out the next day which is today, at around 2pm. We got Certificate of Accomplishment. Yes, I was hoping for at least that. I thought I might have caused us to get Cert of Commendation. But on the list, there were only JJCO and us that got COA. The other orchestras got Cert of Distinction. :(

We're probably gonna play the same songs for Arts Fusion. I better practise for it and not let the same thing happen. :/ Hai...

On a side note, I want to learn how to play dizi!

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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE