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I really don't like my mum sometimes. She always blames me for everything. Wthell.

I talked too loudly to her just now she said she won't talk me to me anymore. I said it's because she blackface me she said it's because I shower too late. So what if I shower at 9pm?! Not like I don't shower.

She blames me when she can't sleep well. She either says it's because she's worrying about me or because I'm not sleeping yet.

Come on. Stop pushing everything on me.

I'll never be good enough for you, it seems.


It's not entirely my fault that I'm always so rude and talk so loudly right? You're always pissed at me. You always nag at me. What's more, dad's always so annoying and you two passed down your hot temper to me, plus I learned it from you both.

Why when I complain about dad you compare him to the worst dads who beat their family and gamble their fortune away and say at least he's not like that, but when you compare me with all your friends' children you never do that.

What the shit you always think you're right.

Yes I love shutting myself in my room and locking the door. So what? It's my room, am I not allowed to even lock my door?!
Do you know that when you keep banging on my door it gives me a shock? I think I have a heart problem from all that anxiety, I really feel damn uncomfortable at the chest.

Everytime you say you'll stop nagging and calling me to do stuff, you still do. It doesn't even last one day.


Yeah I know I'm bad for being rude and unwilling and impatient when teaching stuff. BUT STOP BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE