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Yesterday was Po Po's birthday! So we all gathered at her house.

Met my aunt downstairs, the first thing she asked was how's my studies. I shook my head. She told me to just do my best and take it easy. A bit later Ren Guang uncle joined us, and he also said the same thing. Do my best and if I fail, well there's nothing to regret about. At most you can say is you're not smart enough. But that doesn't apply to me. I'm not stupid. I just don't try hard enough. I'm not doing my best. I can't cry when I fail a test if I did not put in my best because I deserve it.

I've just got to start the momentum of doing homework and studying every day and keep that momentum. I need to overcome my laziness and procrastination!! I've already repeated JC1, and I still haven't learnt my lesson. A Level is coming soon! Come on Huai Tian, I know you can do this. It's in you. But it hasn't come out yet, and you've got to make it come out. Your potential. I've never studied my hardest in my life. Don't you want to know how it feels? To not study last minute and not just scrape through? Or to not study last minute and get a B and regret not getting an A? You can get better than an A. And you need to get better than an A in YJC to compete with the whole Singapore cohort out there. You've got to. You know you want to have something to do with treating patients. You can do this.

I'm going to do this.

Happy birthday Po Po! :)


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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE