WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE
Ok so yesterday I went to bai nian at godparents' house. Godma asked me in front of like 6 people that I don't know whether I still want Lego. And apparently recently there was an episode where Mama introduced the Godsis as her goddaughter to someone, and Godsis asked “为什么这么见外？” Then Mama asked me if I was willing to be called her 'daughter' as well. In my brain I was thinking "wtf?". I had never registered in my mind that there was such a big difference, especially since they had no biological daughters. Hello I call you Mama and Daddy, not Godma and Godpa. So maybe it was just me who thought that it's no big diff. But sometimes the diff becomes so painfully obvious. Then I said sure. Sometimes my brain gets stuck in the present. I can't find words to defend myself. Only after thinking about it for hours, or in the shower or in bed, then I find the words coming to me. Godsis is one of a kind la. Her actual surname is Chua but she says her surname is
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