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I went for Jasmine OYY's YEC BGM at Bishan J8 so I could watch the Scorch Trials for $4 :D Piriya, her sister Piriytha, Teng Khun, Shermaine, Pengfei, Yu Xin and Athirah were also there. Then Jas, Piriya, TK, Sher, PF, YX and I went to Ambush to have lunch.

Jas told us how she was disappointed in her pri sch friends of 10 years because one cancelled only one day before because she had to study, and the other one initially confidently claimed that she would be able to come alone when the first friend wasn't coming. But she was late, and cancelled at the last minute because she didn't want to enter alone and last. And worse, Jas asked her mum to wait for her to bring her in so she wouldn't be the last to come in alone. And because of that, Jas' mum didn't get to see Jas getting elected into the YEC. I thought it was a little to exaggerating for Jas to feel so hurt because of this, because so many people have this bad habit of latecoming and sometimes pangsehing.

Then after lunch, I took Sher's phone to play the Hardest Game Ever 2. Her phone was running out of battery, but I still tried to snatch it back from both Sher and Pf. I was behaving just like I've always been: childish and annoying. But that's just me. Then Pf said "Just let go." in what I felt was a really serious and fierce tone with a really fierce expression. So I just let it go. Then I realised it was a shitty iPhone 6 that could actually be bent -.- yeah I guess it was my fault, I felt so shitty and my face instantly blackened, and I didn't feel like talking at all.

I thought I was gonna forget it after a while, but just now in the shower, I was thinking about stuff because the shower is always a good place to think about stuff, and I suddenly felt disappointed too. I couldn't help but feel really sad. Maybe I'm just too emotional or having PMS la idk. But I felt as though PF wasn't there as my friend anymore; he was there as Sher's bf. I know this is super trivial, and I sound damn petty for holding it to heart, esp when it was because I was the one being childish in the first place. But I don't remember him being ever so fierce to me before. I feel like since they got together, he was always on Sher's side in these petty little kid fights. Maybe it was because JC ended, there's no need to study together anymore, and he's busy serving NS, we stopped hanging out regularly. He doesn't call anymore (and well I don't ever really call people unless it's necessary and not for small chat because I don't like/ am scared to talk to people through the phone). The only time he called me recently was to ask me for a favour, and I said no. When I type in the HRH chat, he doesn't even reply me most of the time. Maybe it's because I'm Peter Pan inside, and I can't grow up, but he matured from being in the army and being an officer, so that's why nobody can stand my childishness anymore. I'm already a little sad when my OGs grow more and more distant, and now it's my best friend/ twin? Gosh how am I supposed to even describe it. Oh great, now I sound so emo and dramatic. Zzz.

It's okay. I'll be alright after a while. I hope. Sigh.

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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE