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I'm feeling wronged. Is it really my fault or is it just my mum being old, unreasonable and having a menopause?

I just finished checking the whole Tenancy Agreement sentence by sentence. She asked me why I'm taking so long to just change the date. I clearly remembered her telling me to check the whole contract again by using the old example contract. Then she just said "How are you going to study in uni like that? Not paying attention and not listening to me when I'm speaking."

Okay I was careless with the rental price and the date. But why am I getting all the blame on this? Am I not allowed to make any mistakes because "she paid for my 20 years of education"? SHE is the landlord. Not me. Last time after I printed the contract out for her, I asked her to check it. Why is everything my fault now?!

Then she always brings up my bad attitude when I'm teaching my parents how to use their computer/phones. Okay that one I admit, I find it really frustrating to teach them the same things when I've already taught them before quite a few times. Ok maybe I was also giving bad attitude when I taught them the first time. I'm reflecting on it, but the way my dad used to ask me for help wasn't any better. I've already told them so many times. Try to use your phone yourself before you ask me. But my dad just keeps asking "where where where?" when I already helped him get to the page and the button he wants is right in his face. My mum too. "What does this button do?" I told you. Try it. Experiment with it. But they just don't. I told my mum even 2 year olds know how to download apps without anyone teaching them. Why? Because they press every button. That's why they know what does what. Then my mum would give the excuse "because I'm scared of spoiling it. because i paid for it, so i can't just experiment with it like a kid does because the kid doesn't know its value."

Just like how her excuse of not checking the contract is "because she didn't study 20 years like me so she can't understand". Does it take a university/JC/secondary student to CHECK A DATE?

And she just came in to tell me I will get retribution for being rude and unwilling to help her. She said next time I talk back loudly again, just don't help. And she said she doesn't have time to check the contract now because I gave it to her at the last minute.

My brain tells me I didn't do anything wrong, except for having a bad temper. But my mum keeps telling me such things I'm feeling wronged and confused now. Do I only think I'm right because people tend to think that their own thinking is right, or has my mum changed? Help...

My mum came in again. Now she says she can't understand why I'm crying when I'm the one bullying her. And she brings some other matters up again. She just blamed me for not listening when the financial consultant comes. She said if she invests in something wrong, it's my fault for staying in my room and just watching drama. MY FAULT. MY FAULT AGAIN. I don't know how everything is my fault just because I went to school more than her. It's not like I didn't try. I did sit through it once when Sherene came and explained about all the investment stuff. But I couldn't understand. I can't be a lawyer and financial consultant just by schooling for 20 years. And it wasn't even 20 years. I couldn't have started studying at age 0.

I don't know how. I feel mentally hurt and tormented when she comes in and blames everything on me.

I really want an older sibling. There's no one to talk to. Except cry.


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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE