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Now, I've decided to stay in JC i.e retain or transfer, because of Zhen Yu gor gor's advice. I realised that whenever I listen to some advice, it's very likely that I'll lean towards that side. People's comments and opinions really affect my decisions a lot.

I emailed YJC 4 days ago, AJC and NYJC 3 days ago, but they haven't replied yet. So today I called their general office and YJ and AJ told me to wait for their reply, while NY told me that they have never accepted transfer students. I asked," So do I wait for your reply?", but the guy told me the same thing again. I guess that just means NO.

Mrs Lim has told me that AJ might be difficult to get in, and asked me to try SR. I'm just trying for AJ. Right now I'm down to 2 JCs and I really hope YJ will accept me. A few ppl have told me that confirm can, but I'm worried that even though my O Lvl COP is quite low, my promo results will cause them to reject me.

Lesson learned: never think that I'll never go somewhere or do sth or be like somebody. Frankly, I've never thought that YJ would be one of my options one day. I didn't look down on YJ people, but I thought that if I got 20 points I would want to go poly because I might do better there. I've also learned that before I have any judgment of something, I shld research, know more about it from friends and go there to take a look myself first. Just like poly and YJ. I went there and thought that the environment was really pleasant and there were lots of opportunities that will help me develop and grow my ldrship skills.

16-1-2012 to 18-1-2012

The retainees or repeat students including me had a 3-day workshop. The school counsellor Ms Mary Neo was the one who did this workshop. The most memorable parts were the two people she invited to talk to us.

The first one came on the first day. She's a retainee now in JC2. She's doing better than other retainees, around 65 points out of 80 points while others hover around 40. She shared with us mainly about how she got a positive mindset. Initially, she felt disappointed in herself but eventually she thought, so what if she retained? Also, nobody treated her differently than other J1s. She told us to just accept whatever comforting words your relatives give you. She said when she got good results, her classmates said that she's so smart, but it was actually because of her hard work. And people might think that retainees shld have better results since they went through the syllabus twice, without thinking that it's because of hard work.

The second one is Andy, a J3. He had okay results, and suddenly improved from JCT in J2. He told us that he only did tutorials until Sigma Notation for math and didn't do anything for Econs. But he still passed his promos!! :( That's not the point though. He said he took 3 weeks to get used to studying everyday. At first, he bargained with himself. He started telling himself he would do the whole tutorial that day. Then he cut down to 10 questions, 5 questions, and finally 3 questions. I also learned that IT'S IMPORTANT TO REWARD YOURSELF even if it's just a small thing that you did. For his case, it was chocolates. He has no FB, no Twitter. He likes to go to the park and take a walk, or fly a kite. IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A HOBBY to help you relax! He's extremely friendly. He came in and gave us gummies first, then he sat on the table and shook his legs while talking to us as if talking to friends. He was open to all questions. And he suggested me to keep a journal, haha. He also strongly recommended reading books. He read inspirational books and he told us to read books called "The Monk Who Sold A Ferrari" and "I'm A Messenger". He said that "The Monk Who Sold A Ferrari" changed his life 180 degrees. He had 3 books with him in his bag. He told us to read an excerpt from such books every morning and when we meet any obstacles during the day, we'll remember what we've read that morning and be motivated. I'm really thankful that he came to talk to us.


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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE