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New Year resolutions

2011 has been a really fast year, it zoomed right past me without me realising what I had done to my life.

Why I failed:
Never needed to study with a lot of effort to get good results. In pri school, just had to redo my worksheets and read through my TBs. Also, I didn't have internet at that time. Maybe that's why I was always in the top three in the level. In sec sch, I only studied a day before tests or exams. It was the same for O Level. My results were no longer fantastic like in pri school, but I could still pass easily for math and sciences. I kept failing my humanities though. Now in JC, I probably couldn't get used to the fact that I had to put in much effort to do my hw and study. I only studied one day before JCTs, three days before my promos and more than a week for my supp papers. Preparing for the concert was one reason--> left with half a month. I kept telling myself to go study, but I get hooked into watching dramas or shows on my com. Also, some people around me kept on injecting me with the wrong attitude saying things like "Never mind la, there's still a lot of time left." or "You never study? HI-FIVE." But they probably studied more than me. I really need to make some friends who can influence me positively. =.=

Many times I had set goals for myself: NYGS, HCJC. But I didn't achieve any of them. I want to be doctor, that's only achievable through JC, but now I'm in danger of going to poly. What had I done with my life? What happened to the kid I was who was obedient and adorable? Of course it's not definite that I failed my supp papers and have to go to poly now, I'm just reflecting.

The day before my supp papers, I told mummy,"Don't scold me. I'm not confident". To my surprise, she said,"你可以回到一个月前吗?你要向前看。你一天前才讲,能做什么?就去poly咯,又不是判死刑。" I was shocked because I had expected her to scold me and not accept this because she expected me to get good results because I'm quite smart.

Oh yes, another factor may be because I have short attention span. I study for 10 to 20 min, I get distracted alrdy, which made me think: is the one hour study cycle really effective for me?


I have really learnt my lesson. I went to SP and NP's open house ytd. I wrote "I want to make my parents proud of me." on the balloon in SP. I think I really meant that. I'm deeply regretful for my actions and I promise myself to do my best to do all my hw and study for all my tests from now on. I went to SP and NP because I want to plan for my future and I'm probably interested in Accountancy if I go to poly. I really hope I can stay in JC so that I can try to be a doctor. I am really not sure of what course to take.

Recently, watched SHINee's Hello Baby and now I'm having a crush on Onew. Haha he's really funny. I've never seen somebody who falls more often than me. Also, he is very hardworking. He said in high school, he studied really hard and got 2nd in school and the Eng subs of what he said were "If you study hard and consistently, you will get good results no matter what."


Therefore, my New Year resolutions shall be to study hard no matter which path I take and not disappoint my family. And lose some weight. :)

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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE