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Just watched Hormones 2 Ep 11. I think I cried the most in this ep so far.

At first, I shipped Tar and Toei together. I could tell Tar liked Toei a lot, and they have an awesome friendship, so I thought they would make a great couple. But stupid Toei had to reject Tar. Btw, I LOVE TAR a lot. Tar is my fav character in Hormones 1.

Then Tar and Khanom Pang got together. Pang is really a very cute and nice girl. I loved this cute couple a lottttt. After Tar and Pang collaborated in the songs Unoccupied Mouth and The Black Sea, I totally changed ship. Turning from a Tar Toei shipper, I completely shipped Tar Pang. But this asshole Tar just had to hurt Pang by not realising he still likes Toei, getting together with Pang, and breaking up with her after he realised his feelings. The worst part is, he ran off to chase after Toei in the middle of the vday event Pang was doing for him in front of the whole school. That is probably the worst way to break your girlfriend's heart. And Pang certainly did not deserve this. I kind of knew this was coming, but it's still so heartbreaking. I felt so much for Pang that I kept crying (more than Pang herself lol).

I was waiting for that cool scene of Pop giving Tar a good punch on behalf of his little sister like a cool big brother. But he just scolded Tar, and more calmly than I expected, in spite of adding in a good few f words. Maybe because they were in school, and like Pop said, Tar is his good friend and he doesn't want to hate him. But I thought bros communicate with their fists. Haha. I like how Pop immediately jumped onto the stage to be with his lil sis though. Pang was so shocked she just stood still with the mic still in her hands, and Pop just put a hand on her shoulder, took the mic out of her hands, and put it down on the stage floor. I wished he had just hugged her, and stopped her from watching any further though.

I screwed up UPIP RWS interview this morning. I didn't even get to Adventure Cove, because I was doing everything so last minute that I realised on the train that I didn't photocopy my school certs. Stupid me. I know I kind of deserved it. I called the person's number, but she didn't pick up. Her colleague called me back, and said they would reschedule to an afternoon interview, but there's no call or email yet. So I guess that's it. No interview. I'll be a better person. I shall be more prepared and disciplined. I'm just not good as utilising my time yet.

And yesterday, I went for counseling session at UHC. Probably the 7th session already? The counsellor gave me snacks (yay). And I told her what happened to me that I now have this bad habit of laughing at everything. She said she could see there was hurt and pain behind the laughing. Yeah.. She also said I would be able to concentrate more when studying after the session since I opened up, and I certainly hope so.


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WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN?! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? I'm so sorry mummy. You're always so hardworking to raise me, but I never studied hard. Now my lab report is going to be late. Why do I always regret only when it's too late, but I repeat it again and again every time even though I know the consequences? I really hope this is the last time. Do not repeat your mistakes please Huai Tian. I feel so exhausted at my own behaviour and how I always give in to watching shows until I'm right before the deadline. Why am I like that? I even went to visit the counsellor. Why can't I change? I feel so bad for my mum... that she only has one daughter but I turned out like this. Please. I want to pull back my grades back up. PLEASE